Why Is The Question and the Answer
When it comes to establishing objectives to reach your dreams, my advice can seem contrary to most. Because if you ask me about the best way to set goals, my answer will be, “don’t.”
In my own life, I have found goals to be more punitive than incentivizing. In my early years, I’d go through the obliged exercises of setting specific goals, only to have the deadlines come and go with not enough to show to make me feel successful. Instead I often stepped away feeling stuck—once again—and scolding myself for, “not living up to your potential,” or “setting yourself up to fail,” or “clearly, despite what your heart says, you’re not meant to be a writer.”
Ever since I was ten years old and was published on the Kids Page of the Oakland Tribune, I knew I wanted to be a writer. I didn’t know what I wanted to write—articles, stories, books, or movies—just that I loved to write. I went to college and majored in journalism, graduated, and began a broadcasting career.
After a couple of years of writing and producing promotional spots for local stations, I decided to try my hand at writing TV programs. I was able to test my creative and scriptwriting skills with success, including winning an Emmy award. While working at the ABC Television Network in New York, I decided to try Hollywood. I set a goal to be a writer on a TV show within 2 years.
I wrote spec scripts, created a couple of sitcom concepts, and took a bunch of meetings. After a few promising events, that never panned out, I realized that I was close to my self-imposed deadline with little to show. I also realized that it had become such a steep and unsatisfying climb toward this goal of writing for network television. I wasn’t having fun and I wasn’t happy writing anymore.
It wasn’t until I was sitting in my umpteenth pitch meeting that was going nowhere that I had an ah ha moment that changed everything. Suddenly, I began wondering, ‘Why am I doing this?’ I asked and realized I had no compelling reply.
Years later, with experience and the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, I realized that it wasn’t the goals, per say, that were leaving me stuck and feeling like a failure, it was figuring out the ‘how’ I was going to make it them happen. It always seemed that I would get five steps down the path towards Goalsville when I’d reach a fork that demanded I know ‘how’ to proceed before continuing. Too many times that fork became the end of the road.
Understand Your WHY
Now, as individual and as a coach, I encourage clients to settle on the WHY they want to do something before they set out to accomplish anything that is of importance to them. First understanding the reason you want to do or achieve something is paramount because knowing the why gives you the motive and inspiration to keep pushing, even when things get tough. Recognizing the why also keeps you in alignment with your soul mission and purpose, and when that happens, the hope and enthusiasm necessary to fuel your dreams is readily accessible.
Set a Direction
The next step to leveling-up and achieving your wishes, is to set a direction instead of a goal. Your chosen direction becomes the lighthouse on your path, beaconing you forward on the path to your dreams.
The direction you set should be one that causes no resistance within. If your direction is so specific that you’re wondering or feeling anxious about how you will ever accomplish it, then you know you need to scale things back until it is something that feels right and true and in alignment.
Once your direction is set, determine one or two simple action steps to begin your journey. What you’ll soon realize is that with your WHY to motivate and inspire you, and your DIRECTION to keep you in forward motion, the HOW’s will begin to pop up at the right time and in the right place to keep you progressing.
Back to the Beginning
So, to finish my story, once I determined that my WHYs were not strong or valid enough in my own mind to pursue television writing, I took time to recalibrate my goals. What I determined was yes, I indeed wanted, needed, and was determined to be a writer (goal), and there were many other forms of writing I could pursue.
What I also realized is that the reason I wanted to write was to inform, entertain and empower people (WHY). Outlining that personal objective for myself, not only help me focused on what I wanted to write but how I wanted to right. I knew that I liked storytelling and making up stories instead of reporting them, so I decided to try my hand at drafting a novel (DIRECTION). I took some classes to get me started and focused on my love of and purpose for writing. I didn’t allow myself to get caught up in what would happen next or how it would happen.
Soon after finishing my first novel, which turned out to be a self-help guide disguised as a novel, I got invited to lunch by a friend who needed to make a stop before we got to the restaurant. Unbeknownst to me, that stop just happened to be at office of a well-known literary agent. And well, as they say, the rest is history. Eight published books later, my goal of becoming a professional writer was realized because I stopped worry about how it would happen and focused on making it happen for all the reasons important to me.
That same WHY lead me to my current career. Promoting my books in workshops based on the themes, led me into working with people one on one, which eventually lead me to becoming a full-time certified coach. Writing is still a big part of my work, but my reasons, directions, and implementations have evolved as I have.
Angel Insight
So let’s button this up with a message from the angel realm.
“The question that needs to be asked, answered, and dwelt upon is WHY? Why do I desire this? Why is this something I feel, I know, I must follow? Why will following this path be beneficial to my soul’s evolution and my human experience?
“Keep your concern on the WHY and you will continue to be motivated towards positive action. Keep your fears at the forefront and you will continue to be confused and inactive.”
So Says the Light
